Spill the Tea Saturday (Special Edition) ❤️ How I Married Buff Nelio

Dear Diary,

As I'm typing, it's Friday night. I'll likely share this on Saturday after I edit. It's 7:05 p.m. and I suddenly felt the urge to write. Rui's not home from work yet. It's June 26th ... my "dating anniversary" with Rui. Four years ago today, Rui and I had our second date (because we didn't realize the first one was actually a date) and our first kiss. Signed, sealed, delivered ... I'm yours. I know. Super cheesy. Speaking of cheesy ...

Mr. Cheesy Cheese enters the room

Here's a secret, if you haven't noticed yet, Rui is super cheesy. At first, I'd giggle. He'd say things (and still says things) like... "The sparkle in your eyes ... so beautiful my love." I'm like... WHAT?? I literally laugh out loud sometimes. Not because I don't appreciate it, but seriously who says that? He looks at me super confused. "What, my love? It's true. No one ever told you that?" No. Definitely not. No one has ever told me that. I say, "I honestly don't think I know anyone in this universe who has ever said that sentence out loud." Then he laughs. I laugh.

Because it's our anniversary, and because Rui seems to have become more than a part-time character in my blogs lately (and has quite the fan base), I thought I'd tell you how our love story began. But before that ...

Everyone Loves Rui

Seriously. More than they love me and I'm ok with that. I think. He's sweet. He's polite. He's generous. He's helpful. And he's super handsome. Jus sayin'. And somehow ... he has no idea how cute he actually is. One yoga friend of ours constantly flirts with him. Friendly flirting. Right in front of me. It's hilarious. We all laugh. One day she says, "He smells so good, Deb. Don't leave me alone in a room with him." Ummmm... Ok. Thanks for the news report. Here's my report... Not to sound cocky, but there's zero chance that's happening. Keep dreaming, friend. 😂 ... She really is a friend. I'm just being sarcastic Deb right now. Maybe a tiny jab. Dream on Cheryl. Real story. Real name.

Enter... Buff Nelio

Ok, where was I? Oh yes. How did it all begin? My cousin Patricia married this Portuguese guy, Nelio. They met. They dated. They got married. Had a baby (now 2). You know ... the thing people do. Love you guys. Also, keeping your story short. This is my story ... lol ... At their wedding in Portugal back in 2015, I kept seeing this guy who looked sooooo much like Nelio. Just, a more buff version. I found out, they were cousins. Naturally, by the end of the trip, his nickname became Buff Nelio. It was a thing. Yes, I made it up. I was not interested. At all. He was Portuguese. Yes, I know. So am I. But I'd already put the label necklace around his neck. "Old-school Portuguese guy with an accent who barely speaks English. No thank you." Wow Deb. What a jerk.

The Beer I Never Let Him Buy Me

I remember being at a festa (party in the streets basically). Live music. Families. Games. Kids running around. Amazing food. Beer. Wine. Dancing. Fun vibes! We were standing in line when Buff Nelio says... "Can I buy you a beer?" Me... "Não precisa." Translation: "You don't need to." Yeah, no kidding, Deb. He knows he doesn't need to. He offered. He smiled. "Está bem." Transition. All good.

And honestly, that's about the only conversation I remember having with him. He was just sort of ...

there. Background character. At the time, I was single Debb. You know. Open, (so I thought) but very closed. Lots of "types." Lots of opinions. Lots of unnecessary boundaries. And no clue I'd marry this guy one day and that he'd become a main character.

The Matchmaking Cousins

Fast forward about nine years. My very determined cousin Patricia says, "Remember Rui? Nelio's cousin?" Right away, I'm like. "Yeah, Buff Nelio?" Before anyone could answer, Nelio jumps in.

"Wait! If he's Buff Nelio, what am I? Fat Nelio?" NO! You're just. Nelio. Oh ok! Apparantely, Buff Nelio had finally made it back to Canada after years of trying. He'd always wanted to build a life here.

He planted the seed. Kept watering it. Years later, it happened. My cousin says, "He's a really nice guy." I said, "So? There are lots of nice guys. He doesn't even really speak English does he?" She says, "What about a games night at my place?" Definitely not. Then somehow, game night happened.

The World's Most Obvious Setup

It was fun. It was awkward. We all knew exactly why we were there. The next day my cousin texts.

"How was last night?" I replied... "YOU WERE THERE! Whatt you mean how was last night?"

True story. Then she says, "So? You don't like him?" I said, "I don't know him but I know myself.

And I don't like being pushed. Can we just let it go?" Later, I found out, she was pushing him too.

Facebook Saves the Day

A few months later, Rui and I were Facebook friends. I know ... romantic. I posted a joke. (Shocking.)

He commented. We joked back and forth. Then he says... "Would you like to grab food or a drink one day?" I replied, "Yeah sure, let's do that so we can get our cousins off our ass." His response.

"YES!! Exaaaaactly." We went out. It turns out, he did speak English. He was a really nice guy. And he smelled really good. At the end of the "non date" he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "oh, your skin is so soft." And the rest is history.

Full Circle

Last August, we got married. In Portugal. Exactly ten years after we first met. How cool is that?

Of course Patricia and Nelio were there. They had to witness the masterpiece they'd created. Now, we live ten minutes away from them. True story. Funny story. To be continued...

Final Tea

Rui treats me like a queen. Jus sayin'. Whenever I'm feeling blah or trying on an outfit that I'm not super comfortable in, he'll say things like... "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, my love."

"You are amazing." "You're so beautiful and soooo special." And then on another random Tuesday, he'll just casually tell me how amazing I am and how lucky he is. Then I'll say "you're the best my love." His consistent response is, "No, WE are the best."

So today's tea is this. Sometimes we decide who someone is before we've even given them a chance to tell us their story. I almost missed out on the greatest love of my life because I thought I already knew exactly who Buff Nelio was. Turns out, I didn't know a thing. And to my single ladies ... Stay open. You never know. The guy with the accent. The guy who offers to buy you a beer. The guy in the next grocery store aisle over. Or the one your cousins keep trying to set you up with. Might just end up being your husband.

Here's to being treated well. Treating your partner well. Treating yourself well. And appreciating the little things. Even if those little things are awkward game nights with a little cheese.

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💗 Yoga Debb