Spill the Tea Tuesday with Debb

A Little More Grace, A little Less Pressure 

Dear Diary,

I've been thinking a lot about grace lately.  Not the kind of grace where you float through life effortlessly like some magical yoga unicorn.  I mean real grace.  The kind where your hormones are hormoning and your mindset is mindsetting and everything is still ok.  The kind where your shorts fit differently than they did last summer and you're not beating yourself up about it.  The kind where you're trying your best and somehow still feel like you're falling short.  Lately, I've noticed that I’m really good at giving grace to other people.  Students.  Friends.  Family.  The person who is having a rough day.  The person who is trying their best.  But when it comes to grace for Debb, it’s a different story.

One jog becomes, "You should have done three."  One indulgent meal becomes, "You should have eaten better."  A missed goal becomes, "You should be further ahead by now."  Sound familiar?  The reality is, if one of my friends came to me and said:  "Debb, I strength trained three times this week, did three hot yoga classes, went for a jog, quit smoking, am tracking my nutrition and being more mindful of my protein intake, and am actively working on my health" … I'd be like…  "Awesome!!  Good for you!"  But when it's me, apparently I'm one jog away from complete failure. Enter Mel Robbins.

Summer Reset

I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast a couple of days ago (shocking I know) about a Summer Reset.  I should probably start calling my blog, “Mel Robbins and Yoga Debb Spill the Tea” … hmm putting it out there.  Maybe that’ll happen one day!  I was in her presence last year in Toronto at her Let Them Tour.  Ok, back to the summer reset.  First of all, how are we almost halfway through the year already?  My birthday is June 29th, which basically feels like the halfway point of the year for me.  As a kid, it was always right around the last day of school.  Insert "School's out for Summer" head banging tune here! Freedom!  No homework!  As an adult, it's still one of my favourite times of year.  The weather finally gets nicer.  The days are longer.  Canada Day is two days later! So, usually lots of celebrations around my birthday.  Although, in my early twenties I used to get annoyed because everyone disappeared camping on the long weekend.  And spilling the tea here, I've never really been a camping girl. 

As a teenager though, camping was awesome!  Bonfires.  Friends.  Parties.  Questionable decisions.  No adults.  As I got older, I quickly upgraded from tent life to trailer life when possible.  Not because I'm a princess.  Ok maybe a little.  I blame it on being a Toronto girl.  And honestly, I think it also comes from being raised by immigrant Portuguese parents. They spent most of their lives working hard, hauling water from the well, sleeping in less-than-comfortable conditions and figuring out where the next meal was coming from.  That’s what camping is.  So, when they came to Canada, the goal wasn't to recreate that experience.  The goal was comfort.  So as a kid, we never went camping as a family.  I know a lot of Canadian families did.  Maybe that's why camping never really stuck?  I do love the outdoors though.  I’m not a monster.  I love walking trails, water, bon fires, sunshine, trees, fresh air and the vibe of sitting outside with my coffee and having meals outside.  I also love comfortable beds and prefer hotels.  In a non princess kind of way obviously.

Something to Look Forward To

One of Mel's questions was:  "What do you have coming up?"  Having something to look forward to matters.  It creates excitement.  Anticipation.  Energy!  Without it, life can start to feel blah.  For me, I'm looking forward to my birthday week. Yes, I'm celebrating all week. I took the whole week off.  Rui and I are hoping to drive to Connecticut to pick up my mom, who's been visiting her sister there since May.  Retired life.  Good for her.  Rui started a new construction job (and is really enjoying it!), so we're just figuring out schedules.  If all goes well, we'll probably leave around Canada Day, spend time with family, celebrate the 4th of July and look forward to the road trip home with Betty.  Obviously.  I'll be 47 btw. 

The Big Town of Orillia and the Massage Scam

Speaking of things to look forward to, Rui and I usually book a night away event few months. Even if it's in the big town of Orillia (our first vacation together). Mel's right. Something to look forward to brings a fun vibe! Our favourite restaurant in the big town of Orillia is Rustica. Italian. Classic. Simple. Made from scratch heaven. Kind staff. Awesome food. I saw one of my a Pilates peeps there once. She came up and said "Hey Debb, it's me Morgan." I said, "I know! I see you a few times a week!" She laughed and recommended we get the deep fried zucchini. Done. Yum! It's funny when you see people outside of the studio. It's always like "oh wow, nice to see you with clothes on." The people watchers are definitely entertained.

Where was I? Oh yes, last month ...

Last month Rui and I finally used a wedding gift that my cousin gave us. A couple’s massage at Livingstone Resort & Spa in Collingwood.  Almost a year later.  No rush.  We decided to spend the night. When I booked the massage, the confirmation email went to my cousin because she purchased the gift card.  Right away, she thought it was a scam.  "What is this place? I didn't book a massage."  So she called.  The receptionist looked into it and asked:  "Do the names Debbie and Rui ring a bell?"  "Ohhhhh yes. Never mind."  Click.  Love you, cuz! The stay was awesome.  Massages. A beverage (or two) while  people watching from the balcony.  Dinner. Boats.  Water.  Sunshine.  Exactly what we needed.

What Am I Proud Of?

Mel's second question was:  "What are you proud of from the last six months?"  I don't love exercises like this.  They make me squirm a little to be honest.  But I did it anyway.  And here's what came up. 

I'm proud of how I handled selling my Toronto condo and closing that chapter of my life with dignity and patience.  The tenant situation was stressful and expensive, but I decided that while someone may have affected me financially, I wasn't going to let them affect me emotionally too.  Some things are out of our control.  How we respond is not. 

I'm proud that I'm coming up on eight months smoke-free.  If you've been reading along for a while, you know that and if you haven’t, you might be surprised.  Yoga Debb smoked?  Yes, she did.  She’s human, imperfect and learning to give herself grace.  I’m not going to lie.  There have been moments.  Emotional days.  Moments where the old Debb would've totally justified "just one."  But here we are.  One day at a time.  One choice at a time.  Almost eight months later.  For years, smoking was something I kept tucked away.  A habit.  A familiar friend. A stress reliever.  A crutch.  A secret, to most people in my life. Quitting hasn't just been about cigarettes.  It's been about learning new ways to cope.  Learning to sit with discomfort.  Learning to regulate stress differently.  I've gained some weight along the way, but I've also gained something much more important:  Confidence in myself.  Proof that I can do hard things. 

I'm proud that I started writing again (publicly).  I'm proud of this blog.  I'm proud that I've carved out time in my busy life to do something I love.  Writing.  Story telling.  Connecting with you.  I'm proud of Betty.  My dream Jeep Wrangler.  I literally had a photo of a white four-door Jeep Wrangler as my phone wallpaper for years.  I took photos of random strangers' Jeeps too. Like, lots of them.  Manifestation or obsession?  You decide. 

I'm proud of the life Rui and I are building together.  Scrolling through photos from Mexico in March, I realized something.  We look happy. Because we are happy.  I'm proud of being a good wife.  A good daughter.  A good sister.  A good aunt.  A good friend.  A good teacher. 

I'm proud of raising over $1,000 during the February push-up challenge for mental health.  For my dad.  I'm proud that students continue showing up to my classes.  I'm proud of the connections I've built.  I'm proud that I was asked to teach a special birthday class for a student and her family and friends on a Friday night. So cool to be chosen to be part of someone’s special celebration.  And maybe most importantly…  I'm proud of the little things.

One Jog Is Still a Jog

This past week I did: 3 F45 classes, 1 HIIT Pilates classes with weights, 3 yoga classes, 1 jog.

Yes.  One.  The old Debb wanted to focus on the fact that I said I'd do three.  The newer Debb caught herself and said, "Actually Debb, one is better than zero. Calm down.”

Final Tea ☕️

So this week, I'm leaving you with the same two questions Mel asked me:

What are you looking forward to?  What are you proud of?  Scroll through your phone camera.  There might be nice reminders that you forgot about, like there were for me.  Maybe the second half of the year isn't about being perfect.  Maybe it's about being present.  Maybe it's about giving ourselves a little more grace.  We’re all carrying something.  We're all figuring it out.  

And we're ALL doing better than we think.

Until next Tuesday...

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💗 Yoga Debb