Spill the Tea Tuesday with Debb: ☕ Birthday Blog ... That Somehow Became "The Proposal" Story

Dear Diary,

As promised, it's Tuesday. Spill the Tea Tuesday with Debb, that is. Birthday Edition. I'm just going to tell you how I spent my birthday yesterday and see where my brain goes. If you've been reading along weekly, you know me by now, it always goes somewhere.

Birthday Vibes ... Zooming Out

June 29, 1979. The day I was born. It was around 7:45 in the morning. My mom had a C-section. She had one with my brother (eighteen months earlier) because of complications, so they figured they'd stick with the same plan for me. I was much less complicated than my brother. Seems fitting. 😂. Love you Dan! And here we are. Forty-seven years later. It's kind of crazy, actually. Time is such a strange concept. I still feel young. And yes ... I know. To some people, 47 is young. To others, "Wait... you're only three years away from 50?" Yes captain obvious. Calm down. I remember being a kid and my Aunt Val (my mom's little sister... RIP) asking me,"I'm turning 30 soon. Do you think 30 is old?" I think my little Debb face basically said, "Yeah... kinda." She laughed. But I also remember tears in her eyes at the thought of getting older. Little did we know she'd pass away from cancer only five years later. Life.

Birthdays: Bringing Us Back to the Bigger Picture

I trust you do the same. Birthdays aren't really about cake. But ... definitely yes to cake. They're also about asking yourself, "How's my life going?" Here I am. Forty-seven. Married to a great man. I was having a conversation with friends recently about choices in life. One of the biggest choices we ever make is who we choose to share our life with. It's not just about the wedding day. It's every day. Every. Single. Day. We better choose wisely. I saw an Instagram reel recently that made me laugh out loud.

It showed a husband making dinner on the BBQ, doing yard work, helping around the house and a woman's voice saying, "Wow... your husband does that for you? And that? And takes care of you? You're sooooo lucky." The wife responded with, "DUH! I didn't marry a good-for-nothing loser." 😂

I laughed because honestly, there was some truth to it. People often say to me, "You're so lucky."

And yes! I do feel lucky. But I also think it's more than luck. It's about the choices we make, the standards we keep, the red flags we don't ignore, and eventually believing we deserve to be loved well.

For me ... It took a while. Forty-six years, apparently. Maybe I wasn't ready before then. Maybe I hadn't done enough work on myself. Maybe I simply hadn't met the right person. Probably a little of all three.

Too deep? Perhaps. Big picture birthday thoughts ...

Where was I? Oh yes! How's my life going? Married. Living in Innisfil. Teaching yoga and Pilates. Sold my condo. Bought Betty (my dream Jeep in case you're just jumping in now). Put some money down on my mortgage so monthly life feels a little more breathable. Honestly ... I'd say I'm doing pretty well. Not perfect. Not without stress. Not without hormones reminding me who's boss every now and then. But, pretty well.

Bird Day With Mama

I woke up around 8:00 a.m. The first thing I saw was that my mom had already sent me a voice message. My annual "Bird Day" song. Not birthday. Bird day. Every. Single. Year. She sings to me. Always. And she sings it to "My Debinha." Yep ... that's me. I smile every single time. It simply isn't my birthday unless my mama sings me Happy Bird Day. She's currently in Connecticut visiting her sister. Retired life. Good for her. I sat outside with my morning coffee, sun shining, called my mama back, and honestly, what a nice way to start the day. Tomorrow, Rui, Betty and I are driving down to Connecticut to pick her up. We're staying until Sunday. Celebrating my uncle's 70th birthday. Watching the Portugal game. Hanging out with family. You know, the real meat and potatoes of life. I also trust that literal meat and potatoes will be on the menu. A Portuguese classic.

The Place That Changed Everything

Old Saybrook, Connecticut is about an hour from Harford. Small, quiet, retired life vibe, beach town. It's where my aunt and uncle have lived for years. It's where our whole family gathers every summer. It's also where Rui proposed. My aunt actually gave him her wedding anniversary ring to pass down to me. Years ago she showed it to me and said, "This ring is yours one day ... whether you get married or not." Slightly dramatic. Very Portuguese. Turns out she and Rui had a secret conversation. Sneaky little pork chops. I had NO clue. Funny enough, I never really wanted to get married. On our first or second date we actually joked about wedding bands being "tags." Like "shields" in a way. Like, "Don't talk to me... I'm married." We laughed. But something slowly changed. Living life together. Growing together. One day I caught myself thinking, "I could actually picture Rui as my husband." Little did I know, he already had the ring.

The Proposal

We were in Old Saybrook and he suggested going for a walk by the water. Everything was beautiful. The breeze. The ocean. He said things like, "You're so beautiful my love... I love you more every day." And honestly, I didn't think anything of it. That's just Rui. He says stuff like that on a regular basis. Then, "Want to stop over there?" "Nah" I say, "Let's keep walking. Get our movement in?" Poor guy. Ring in his pocket. Proposal delayed. Then... "Want to sit over there?" "I kinda have to pee, " I said. Poor guy. Again. We walked all the way back to the house. My mom looked at me and got REALLY excited. "Omg your hand ... I mean your arms are so tanned!" I thought ... Interesting reaction to a tan. Now I know why. I'm standing in the kitchen. My mom and aunt and there cooking (as usual) and I'm playing with the cat when I hear ... "My love?" I turn around. There he is. On one knee. Ring in hand."Will you marry me?" I remember saying, "WHAT?? What's happening right now? For real? Is this happening right now?" I was shocked. My mom said, "At least turn around, Debinha!" I guess I was half facing Ruil, half petting the cat. I finally turned around fully and said, "Of course, my love." We hugged. We were sharking. My mom and aunt were crying. My aunt (the iPad Queen) snapped a picture seconds later. That picture became our Save the Date. Meanwhile, my mom told my uncles in the living room, "Rui just asked Debb to marry him!" Their response was, "Oh yeah? That's nice" and they kept watching TV. Family. One year later we got married in Portugal. Funny enough, the venue we wanted was booked on August 23. August 24 was available. Exactly one year after the proposal. Done. Meant to be.

Birthday Burpees

Back to my birthday. I headed to F45 for a 9:30am class. There was a sign waiting for me. Happy Birthday Debbie! Awww. Cute! Then the coach walked over. "Happy birthday! Would you rather do birthday burpees or an ab finisher?" Oh God here we go. They normally make people do one burpee for every year they're alive. He asked, "How old are you?" "Forty-seven, dude." He looked shocked. "I never would've guessed." Cool. Let's pretend I'm 22 today. Deal? Twenty-two burpees it is. Done.

Workout complete. Great start to the day. Then I decided...

Calories don't count on birthdays. I don't make the rules. Sooo ... I grabbed an iced coffee from Tim's.

A Farmer's Wrap. And. Fine. A hash brown too. If we're going to be honest, let's be honest. Yum!

Vacation Mode Activated

I'm off this week. Vacation. I went to my mom's house yesterday, because ... Confession. We don't have a bathtub. I LOVE baths. Manifesting one in our next house. Or this one. Then, pedicure. full body massage, home to relax, get ready. Off to The Keg with Buff Nelio for dinner. If you don't know the Buff Nelio story, you'll need to go back to the last blog from Saturday, the special edition. Wink wink.

The Great Birthday Mystery

Something weird happened. We were STUFFED. Like, crazy stuffed. We ordered exactly what we always order when we go there (on special occasions to be clear). Some sort of seafood app. Yesterday it was lobster bisque. Bread and butter. Warm. Mouthwatering. Necessary. Aperol Spritz. Rui had his rib steak. I had my peppercorn New York steak. Billy Miner Pie. Standard. Free on your birthday. Jus sayin' ... but halfway through we both looked at each other like, "What the heck is happening?" Why are we SO full?? Does the body know it's Monday? Is it because we're not in Weekend Warrior mode? Was it the full moon? Was the universe simply saying... "That Billy Miner Pie will taste way better tomorrow." Maybe. Who knows. I packed up half my dinner. Took the cake home. Got home around 10:30. Straight to bed. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. To pee. Obviously. Then thunder and lightening. Then, I couldn't fall back asleep. So, here I am. Typing at 6:00 in the morning. Well ... It IS Spill the Tea Tuesday ... right?!

Final Tea

This birthday wasn't about gifts. It wasn't about getting older. It was about realizing how much I have to be grateful for. A mama who still sings me Happy Bird Day. A husband who still tells me my eyes sparkle.

A family that somehow manages to fit 20 Portuguese people into one little beach house. Teaching yoga and Pilates, which I genuinely love. Students who have become friends. Friends who have become family.

A Jeep named Betty. A life that, when I really zoom out ... Feels pretty f*ckin' awesome! Forty-seven doesn't feel old. It feels grateful. As Rui would say ... "Forty-seven and gorgeous." Who am I to argue with the man?

What's one birthday tradition you'll never outgrow?

Mine is definitely my mama's Bird Day song. Every. Single. Year. And the loving messages from people I haven't heard from in a while. I received a video call yesterday from Rui's mom and sister (aka my mother-in-law and sister-in-law) who live in Portugal. They sang to me. It was so sweet. His nephews (my nephews) came on and said "Happy Bird Day!" So sweet! I cried a little after we hung up. Maybe more than a little. I am a sensitive Cancer after all. And with the full moon. Cry me a river.

Thank you for all the birthday messages, love, texts, calls, hugs and kindness yesterday.

I'm still feeling the love!

Until next Tuesday,

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💗 Yoga Debb