Spill the Tea Tuesday with Debb: Maybe Your Purpose Isn't What You Think It Is

Dear Diary,

It's been two weeks since I've written (publicly) and wow ... a lot is in my brain that I need to unleash.

The last time we chatted, it was my birthday week (yes... I took a whole week off to celebrate. Highly recommended!). Who knew having your birthday fall on a Monday would be a gift?

The Connecticut Fam Jam

That week, Rui and I loaded up Betty (my Jeep Wrangler ... and if you don't know who Betty is by now, you haven't been reading my blog ... no judgement! Jus sayin'). We hit the road for a 10-hour drive to Old Saybrook, Connecticut. My mom's been there since May visiting her sister, and every summer it's where our family gathers. Aunts, uncles, adult cousins, kid cousins, beach, food, beverages, sunburns, smart ass remarks and laughter! Also, outside showers (seriously... why aren't outside showers a bigger thing?).

Soooo nice! My aunt lives literally a two-minute walk from the ocean. Heaven. We left Innisfil at 3am and rolled into Connecticut just before 1pm on Canada Day. Betty was rocking a Canada flag and a Portugal flag on her caboose and she was looking pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Not a bad entrance. My mom greeted us with homemade Bacalhau à Brás (if you've never had Portuguese cod, onions, eggs and crispy potatoes all mixed together with love... you're missing out). Restaurant versions are ok but Mama Cabral's is in a totally different league. Jus sayin' ... speaking of leagues ...

Portugal 🇵🇹

We also happened to be there while Portugal was still playing in the World Cup. (We're not going to talk about how that ended). But can we take a moment to appreciate how Toronto showed up for Portugal? Thousands of people lining the streets. Watching from our phones in Connecticut. Feeling proud to be Portuguese. Feeling proud to be Canadian/Torontonian. Feeling connected to home, while being away from home. Having a little FOMO to be honest but also planning trips to New Jersey for the final if Portugal made it. Mission aborted. But it's fun to dream! It's fun having hope, passion and belief for the players, for our country, for our family, for generations before us and for ourselves. It's a feeling of union and connection. The world cup has a really cool way of doing that.

470

We celebrated my uncle's 70th birthday while I had just turned 47 and my mom and aunt surprised us with a birthday cake that read, "4 7 0 .. happy birthday Debbie and Tony." I LOVE that kind of stuff. It's the little things (that truly are the big things). 47 + 70. One cake. Two birthdays. One family. And the coolest part is that it'll never happen like that again. Next year I'll be 48 (omg!) ... he definitely won't be 80 etc. etc. etc. One of those tiny little moments that somehow becomes a memory you'll never forget. Felt like a little wink from the universe.

The Great Fireworks Sprint

The 4th of July. Fireworks by the beach. Perfect evening. Until... BOOM! Rain. Not drizzle. Not a gradual sprinkle. A full on down pour! Everyone started RUNNING. Rui and I hand in hand. We're sprinting. People are screaming. We're all super soaked!! Then Rui yells ... "YOUR MOM!" "What?" He says, "YOUR MOM AND TIA TILLY!! LOOK!!" I look ahead and there's my mom and my aunt (both in their 70s by the way) GUNNING IT down the street. We didn't know they were at the beach watching the fireworks too because we'd left earlier with my cousins and there was a huge crowd of people. I've never laughed so hard while running for my life. We all made it back to the house soaked, out of breath and laughing our asses off. We changed, put all of our clothes into the dryer, sat down and watched "The Worst Neighbour" documentary series on Netflix together. One last family night. We hit the road the next morning. Perfect ending.

If You Could Say "Twice"

While I was away, I finally finished the book I'd started in Mexico in March. Twice by Mitch Albom, who also wrote Tuesdays with Morrie. The concept of Twice is super interesting. The main character has a special power where he can go back in time and relive a moment, but only twice. What if you had the ability to pause life, say one word, "Twice"and go back and do that moment over again? Of course that got me thinking. If I could, would I? Would I change anything? Many things? Would I make different choices? Would you? Or maybe all of life's moments, even the messy ones, led me (and you) exactly where we're supposed to be? Deep diving, I know. Interesting thing to reflect on though.

Then Came Teacher Training

I came home. Unpacked. Took a deep breath. And this past weekend I led a HIIT Pilates Teacher Training with a few of my colleagues (for 20 amazing trainees!). I'll be honest ... I was nervous. A few times on vacation I thought, "I should probably review my notes." Then I reminded myself, "Debb ... you're on vacation. Next week is next week. Now is now. Enjoy yourself. You'll be fine." True story. I literally coach myself on the daily. The lecture portion of the course is what I was nervous about. It's really just me ... talking. Which is ironic because my elementary school report cards always said, "Debbie talks too much." I always remember having my desk moved to the corner as punishment for talking. WELL ... look who's getting paid to talk now! Take that, Grade 3 report card! Back to this weekend. There was one moment where I shared my own yoga and Pilates teaching journey. My wellness and transformation journey essentially. Losing weight. Finding confidence. Finding myself. Changing my life. I cried a little (shocking, I know). Then I noticed, other people had tears in their eyes too. That, right there, is the stuff I love. Not because people cried. Because we connected. We weren't instructors and trainees. We were just humans.

Maybe Purpose Isn't What You Think It Is

Yesterday, I listened to the latest Mel Robbins podcast (surprise!) about purpose. She talked about how purpose isn't always one big thing. It's usually found in what gives you energy. What you're curious about.

What you naturally create. And as I was listening, I had a crazy revelation. My brain went ... WAIT. The word creative comes from the word ... CREATE! How have I never connected those dots? It's so simple and clear. Creating a class. Creating a recipe. Creating a playlist. Creating a blog. Creating laughter. Creating connection. That's creativity. It isn't reserved for artists. It's available to ALL of us! Duh ...

Maybe My Purpose Was Never Yoga

This weekend made something really clear. Yoga isn't my purpose. Pilates isn't my purpose. They're the avenue. My purpose is connection. Helping people believe in themselves. Helping people laugh.

Helping people move. Helping people feel seen. Writing is another avenue. Speaking is another avenue.

Teaching is another avenue. The avenue might change but the purpose doesn't. Connection. That's my jam and the real tea. Even with fam jams, I seem to the be "connector cousin." I usually gets texts from them like, "what time is Easter at your mom's again? Saturday right? Can you send me the address again? I forgot to save it in my phone. Is this cousin coming? Is that cousin coming?" Then the day of the fam jam, "what time again Debb? 1 or 2? " Like come on guys! I love you, and also get your sh*t together! lol ... My response is usually always something like, "1pm as per the original message and last week's message, loser! Be there or be square." True story. Cousin love. The people who knew you from childhood, who know your crazy family because it's their family too and no matter how much time goes by, everything feels the same and you can call each other losers and laugh at fart jokes together for the rest of your lives!

Looking Back

Mel also encouraged listeners to think back to childhood. What lit you up before the world started telling you who to be? For me, it was writing in my diary, telling jokes and music. I had a keyboard. I'd come home from church and play the songs I'd heard. My dad would ask, "How did you learn that?" "With my ears," my smart ass would say. ;) Later it became guitar. Then karaoke. Then playlists. Now, even some Pilates classes feel like a karaoke party workout vibe! Last week (true story) people were singing out loud and head banging, while doing forearm planks. What a vibe. Sweet Caroline. Like a Prayer. Peeps laughing, smiling and groovin'! Maybe that's been the clue all along.

Maybe The Clues Have Always Been There

I love making people smile. I love making people laugh. I love writing. I love music. I love creating. I love words. I love speaking. I love standing in front of a room full of people; whether it's to make them laugh (hello stand-up comedy days) or helping them believe they can do something they didn't think they could. Maybe, I've been chasing my purpose, when really, it's been leaving me clues all along.

Your Turn

Here's my question for you (and please please please message me your answers!). Honestly. I'd LOVE to hear your stories! What lit you up as a kid? What makes you totally lose track of time? What do people always thank you for? What do you create, just because you love creating it? Maybe your purpose isn't hiding. Maybe, it's been quietly tapping you on the shoulder for years. Maybe you just haven't been listening. Maybe now's the time.

Until next Tuesday,

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💗 Yoga Debb