TGIF with Debb: Coming Home to Myself ... The Transformation You Can't See

Dear Diary,

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about change. Not the dramatic kind, where where you wake up one morning and all of a sudden everything is different. I'm talking about the quieter kind of change. The kind that happens slowly, almost without you noticing. The kind where one day you look around and realize that you're not exactly the same person you were a few months ago, or even a few weeks ago. That's where I feel I might be right now. Somewhere in the middle of becoming.

The Magic of Bringing Women Together

Last weekend, I hosted another women's retreat in my backyard, inside my cozy kitchen for dinner and at my mom's for a little yoga in the sunroom. And once again, I was reminded why I love creating these experiences. There were women who knew each other, women who didn't, different personalities, different stories, different seasons of life. And somehow, once we slowed down, moved our bodies, ate together (like it was a Portuguese wedding), laughed, talked and simply were together, those differences were actually similarities. That's the magic of creating space for women to connect. We don't always need a huge event. We don't need hundreds of people. Sometimes a handful of women sitting together and moving together is enough. Enough to laugh. Enough to share. Enough to feel seen. Enough to remember that we're not the only ones figuring things out. And honestly, that's been one of the biggest reminders for me lately: It doesn't have to be big to be meaningful. Sometimes smaller is better. Sometimes simpler is better. Sometimes we're so busy chasing the next big thing that we forget to appreciate what is happening right in front of us. A small group of beautiful women reminded me how lucky I am to be surrounded by such strength, inspiration and power. Cheers to each of you ladies!

Then Came 75 Hard

And then, of course, I decided to make my life just a little more challenging. If you've been following along, you know that I've committed to the 75 Hard challenge. WTF is that you ask? For 75 days straight, you do two 45 minute workouts a day. One of them has to be outside. Follow a healthy nutrition plan. Drink a gallon of water. Read. No alcohol. Take a progress pic. And stay consistent. Yes every. single. day. And yes, I know Thanksgiving is coming up (Portuguese wedding style, being hosted by my mama) and Halloween is also coming up. I wasn't sure how I would feel about it or if I even had the strength to do this. But something surprising has happened. I'm actually feeling good. Really good. I'm on Day 17. I've been doing all of the above. every. single. day. Except one thing, which I'll talk about more later.

I'm moving my body every day. I'm eating well. I'm drinking my water. I'm getting outside. I'm walking. I'm doing yoga, Pilates and fitness fusion classes. I'm doing strength training. I'm giving my body more movement and more consistency than I have in a long time. There's something super powerful about keeping a promise to yourself. It's not really about the workout, in my mind. It's about waking up and knowing, "I said I was gonna do this, and I'm gonna do it." That feeling starts to spill into other areas of your life. My sleep has been way better. My energy feels different. I've noticed that the night sweats that had been bothering me every now and then have disappeared (for now, I don't want to get ahead of myself). My head feels clearer. I'm noticing just how different I feel when I'm giving my body movement, good food, water and rest instead of constantly asking it to keep up with whatever I'm throwing at it.

The Alcohol Conversation

I'll be honest. There are moments when I miss having a drink. I miss the Sunday beer and wings with Rui. I miss having a glass of wine on steak night. I'm not going to pretend like I don't. But I'm also noticing something else. I really like how I feel when I don't drink. I like waking up clear-headed. I like sleeping better. I like not wondering whether that one drink might turn into two or three or six etc etc. I'm starting to realize that sometimes we don't actually miss the alcohol. We miss the ritual. We miss the permission to relax. We miss the social connection. We miss having something in our hand while we sit around a table and talk. I'm realizing there are other ways to create those same feelings. My new favourite drink is Non-Alcoholic cherry flavoured White Claw. It also has electrolyes AND it's only 10 calories AND it only has only 1 gram of sugar. I've also been enjoying non-alcohol beer. I honestly enjoy the taste and it gives me a sense of pleasure. I'm not making some lifelong declaration that I'll never drink again. I'm simply paying attention. That's a phrase I use with my yoga and Pilates peeps in class and it's become really important to me lately: Pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel. Pay attention to what gives you energy. Pay attention to what drains you. Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you. And maybe most importantly ... pay attention to your own voice.

What I've Been Hearing

I've also been listening to a lot of conversations lately. Mel Robbins of course. A couple of weeks ago, she had Oprah on her podcast. OPRAH! I really feel like when you start paying attention, you hear things at the exact moment you're meant to hear them. The themes they discussed were exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Listening to your inner voice. Finding your purpose. Gratitude. Courage. Letting go. Letting in. Changing direction. Forgiving yourself. And learning to actually listen to yourself.

Sometimes we spend so much time trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing that we stop asking ourselves what we actually want to be doing. I've been thinking about that a lot. I've spent years saying yes. Yes to opportunities. Yes to responsibilities. Yes to other people's expectations. Yes because I could. Yes because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Yes because I thought maybe I should. But I'm learning that just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to. And just because something was right for you once doesn't mean it has to be right for you forever. Maybe life isn't about finding one perfect path and staying on it forever. Maybe it's about paying attention to the signs. Maybe it's about having the courage to change direction when something doesn't feel aligned anymore. Maybe it's about trusting yourself enough to say: This worked for me then. It doesn't work for me now. And that's ok.

The One 75 Hard Rule I Decided to Bend

The daily progress photo. Yep. I'm bending the rule and honestly, I feel good about it because I've realized that I don't want this challenge to become another reason to obsess over my body. I don't want to wake up every morning checking whether my stomach looks flatter. I don't want to scrutinize a photo looking for tiny changes. I don't want the number on the scale to determine whether I'm having a good day. And I definitely don't want to spend 75 days becoming more critical of myself while supposedly doing something that's meant to make me healthier. So I've decided to take my progress photos every 10 days instead. I'll weigh myself every 10 days too. That feels way more balanced for me. There are so many ways to measure progress that have zero to do with a photograph. How do I feel? How am I sleeping? Do my clothes feel different? Am I feeling stronger? Am I more consistent? Do I have more energy? Am I keeping promises to myself? Am I enjoying movement? Am I making choices that feel good instead of choices that come from guilt? Those things matter. A lot. The scale is information. The photo is information. Neither one gets to tell me how I'm doing.

I'm still working on that one to be totally honest. I weighed myself 10 days into 75 Hard and I lost 3 pounds. I was happy! It made my day. I felt proud of all of my hard work. But it got me thinking, "what if I'd lost nothing? What if it was only 1 pound? Would I be proud of the 1 pound and see it as progress or would I be annoyed?" I know myself pretty well. I'd definitely be annoyed. Yes, in my logistical brain, I know that the number isn't everything ... and also I know in my emotional brain that the number matters to me. I'm not perfect and I don't aim or claim to be. I'm a work in progress and I know that I can be a little "all or nothing." Maybe that's one of the biggest lessons of this whole experience. Health doesn't have to mean obsession. Progress doesn't have to be visible every single day to be real. I'm learning. Like I said earlier. To pay attention. To notice the good things. I shared a quote this week with my class and I'm tring to really keep it in mind daily. My cousin, knowing I’m the self-proclaimed “quote queen” (I love a good quote and can’t resist sharing), sent me a Facebook video with this gem. "The amount of good things in your life, depends on your ability to notice them." Boom! Mic drop! It reminded me that there are always good things and the more you notice, the more you notice. I dare you to think of 3 good things right now. Not sure? How about the air in your lungs, your heart that beats, your eyes that see ....

Coming Home to Myself

I really think that's what this season of my life is really about. Coming home to myself. Not reinventing myself and definitely not becoming some totally different person. Just coming back to the woman underneath all the noise. The woman who loves yoga. Who loves bringing people together. Who loves a good laugh. Who is learning to say no. Who is learning that she doesn't have to have all the answers.

Who is learning to sit with uncertainty. Who is learning that change doesn't mean something went wrong.

And who is finally starting to understand that taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary. I'm still figuring it out. I'm still having moments of "how the f*ck am I going to fit in 2 workouts after I taught 4 classes today?" I'm still navigating perimenopause, changing priorities, changing relationships with food and alcohol, changing dreams and changing ideas about what I want the next chapter of my life to look like.

Maybe that's the point. We don't have to have it all figured out. We just have to keep paying attention. Keep listening. Keep moving. Keep growing. Keep choosing ourselves. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One decision at a time. As I practice paying attention and choose to notice the good, I’m realizing …

Maybe I was never lost at all.

Maybe I was simply finding my way home to myself.

TGIF ... until next Friday.

Truth

Growth

Inspiration

Fun

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💜 Yoga Debb