TGIF with Debb: Excellence, Aunt Flow and Driving Home in My Underwear

Dear Diary,

Where to begin. Well ... it’s been an interesting week. Last week, I wrote about Mel Robbins. Yes, again. I know, I know. I'm a big fan. What can I say?! For my new readers, I saw Mel Robbins LIVE in Toronto last year at her "Let Them" Tour, after reading all of her books and listening to her podcast regularly. She's all about mindset, growth and self improvement. And she was just as amazing in person as she is on her podcast. So yes, I’m low key medium obsessed.

I’ve been thinking this week about these blogs and how much they remind me of Julie & Julia ... the movie where Julie decides she’s going to cook her way through Julia Child’s cookbook. She burns things. She spills things. She screws things up. She creates some masterpieces. But mostly ... she tries. I think that’s kind of what I’m doing with Mel Robbins. I listen to her podcast, I hear something that makes me think YESSSSS, and then I try to implement it. I figure, what's the point of learning something if we never actually try it? Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I spill the soup, knock things over and make a mess. And sometimes when aunt flow's in town, her recipe for disaster makes a mess of her own (in my beige pants, standing in an aisle at No Frills). More on that coming up.

Putting it into practice this week ... sort of

First off, I've been trying to sleep better. FAIL. Aunt Flow arrived and decided she was moving in. My sleep was messed up. So were my sheets. And my head. I keep thinking my pillow is giving me a headache because it's not as firm anymore and I wake up with headaches way more often. Likely hormone stuff. But, buying new pillows is on the list for this weekend, and will re-assess next week. My plans to get outside more were also a fail. It was hot, humid, wet and generally gross outside. I had zero interest in walking or sitting outside, sweating my ass off and feeling like I was melting into the deck. But I did keep doing a lot of the things that make me feel good. I got in four hot fitness classes ... Yoga, Pilates and Fitness Fuzion, so I’m calling that a win. I ate well. Took my vitamins. Wrote in my gratitude journal. Did my daily meditation. Did my stretching with affirmations playing in the background every morning. And I’m still working on something that sounds soooo simple. But simple doesn't always mean easy.

Listening

Like, actually listening. Not listening while thinking about what I’m going to say next.

Not waiting for my turn. Not jumping in because I’m convinced I already know what someone is going to say. Just listening. I’m getting better at catching myself. And I'd say that counts. I’m not perfect. That's not my goal. Progress is. Presence is.

Then Mel gave me something else to work on …

This week, Mel had the Jamaican sprinting legend Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce on her podcast. She's won 3 Olympic gold medals, 10 World Championship gold medals and has the fastest 100-metre sprint of all time! Yes, including male and female athletes. She became the oldest sprinter to win a 100m world championship. This week she and Mel had a conversation about mindset, preparation and what it takes to perform at an elite level. One thing that really stuck with me was: There's a difference between doing average things and doing excellent things.

She talked about visualization and mental rehearsal. Not just imagining the big win, but rehearsing all the little moments that get you there. Seeing yourself getting up when the alarm goes off. Seeing yourself doing the work when you don't feel like it. Seeing yourself prepare. Seeing yourself show up. No matter what. Setting a standard for yourself because you are worthy of being your best. That got me thinking about preparation. Preparation is the stuff that you do when no one is watching. And that's the stuff that matters most. Nobody sees the choices you make over and over again. Nobody will ever know the amount of work you put into things. Only you know. And that's what really matters. Others just see the result. I can honestly say that meditating and practicing affirmations over the last few years has really helped shift my mindset and increased my self-discipline. But I still have work to do. A LOT of work. Then I wonder if I didn't work on my mindset, where would I be?

The 5:30am debate

A few days ago my alarm went off at 5:30am for a 6:30am hot fitness class.

Right away, my brain went, "Ugh ... you can just stay in bed and get two more glorious hours of sleep. It's only $15 to cancel. Big deal. You deserve a sleep-in. You're tired." I argued with myself for about ten minutes. Then I thought about what I had just heard on the podcast. Average or excellent? Ugh. Fine. I got up. Washed my face. Brushed my teeth. And all of a sudden, a new woman arrived. I got ready and went to class. Also, that $15 cancellation policy is a motivator for my frugal European immigrant raised brain. And I have to register for class the night before. Otherwise, that morning conversation I have with myself will be a definite "hit the snooze, try again tomorrow" scenario. I should also mention, I was on my period and feeling pretty crappy, so I modified where I needed to and listened to my body. Yes, she had opinions. But I did my best, got into Sweaty Debbie Land and walked out feeling SO much better than I would have if I had stayed in bed. It was a good day. Until Aunt Flow returned with a vengeance in the evening.

Speaking of Aunt Flow … (sorry boys)

Or maybe not. Maybe you're welcome. So you can learn more about the reality of the ladies in your life, who might not talk about this kind of stuff.

Ladies. If you know, you know. My periods have been way heavier than they used to be and the time between each cycle is getting shorter. Perimenopause is clearly the world's most annoying gameshow of: “Let's spin the wheel and see what symptom we're getting today Bob!” Hot flashes? Maybe. Night sweats? Possibly. Insomnia? Could be. Cramps? Yep. Emotional roller coaster? Surprise! Obviously. I know I'm not alone in this. I’ve had sooooo many conversations with women around my age who are navigating their own version. Everyone seems to have a different experience, and there are lots of different options people are exploring with their healthcare providers. For me, I'm still figuring it out. One day at a time. And while I'm figuring it out, I'm also trying to be a little kinder to myself ... because I'm noticing (probably like you) that I'm much kinder to other people than I am to myself. I'll encourage someone else. I'll tell them they're doing great. I'll remind them that their body is allowed to have an off day. And then I'll look in the mirror and think "Ugh. Why does my stomach look so bloated?" Meanwhile, I'm on my period. So of course I'm bloated. So, I'm working on that too. Self-compassion. Not perfectly. Just better than I was ten years ago. Check. And better than I was twenty years ago. Also check. Progress is progress.

And then I bled through my pants at No Frills

This is where the blog takes a hard left. Yesterday afternoon, I popped into No Frills between Team Lead Admin work at the studio and teaching classes. I was wearing beige pants (because I enjoy living dangerously). All of a sudden … ohhhh snap!

I look down. Oh. My. God. I bled right through my pants. At No Frills. In beige pants.

I stood there thinking, "WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK AM I GOING TO DO?" My pads were in the car. I had no other clothes. I couldn't really walk around the grocery store looking like I'd committed a crime. So I did what any calm, mature woman would do. I finished my shopping. For about two minutes. Grabbed my yogurt, white fish and almond milk and got the f*ck out of Dodge! Luckily, I had my yoga bag in the car with a change of clothes since I was teaching that evening. THANK YOU, YOGA BAG GODS! I went to Starbucks. Cheers to their glorious massive bathroom, changed, cleaned myself up, had a tea and sat down for a minute. I even read a little of the romance novel I'm currently obsessed with. Sometimes self-care is meditation. And sometimes it's sitting in Starbucks reading a romance novel after you've just cleaned period evidence off of your beige pants. Balance right?! Then I went off to teach my usual double: Hot Yoga followed by Hot HIIT Pilates. After class I realized…

I have no pants!

I checked the studio lost and found to see if I could find something to go home with.

Nothing. So there I was. In my black underwear, trying to convince myself that they kinda look like little yoga shorts. Also, trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to get out of there. I figured I'd just wait until the next class started, walk out quickly and nobody would notice. I waited until the instructor was just about to walk into the room the teach. And hey, if anyone saw me, they were yoga shorts. No biggie. Except, the instructor saw me in the back staff room and said, "Aaaaaand Debb's in her underwear?!!!” ... I laughed. She laughed. I explained what happened. Her response. “Yup. Sounds about right. Welcome to perimenopause.” Exactly. I walked to my car and drove home. Yes. In my underwear. When I got home, I told Rui the whole story. His face looked so sad while I was talking. I said, “What's wrong? Why do you look so sad?” He said: “Because, my love, I feel so sorry for you right now. I'm so sad that happened. You ladies have to go through so much. So sorry.” Then he scooped me up into his arms and said: “But I like your underwear.”

Let's go back to excellence vs. average

I don't think excellence means being perfect. Because if it did, I'm screwed. Excellence, to me, is about the little things you do when nobody is watching. It's getting up when you said you would. It's training your mind like you train your body. It's catching yourself before you interrupt someone. It's doing your meditation. It's taking care of yourself. It's trying again and again and again. It's listening to your body when it says, maybe don't go full-out today. It's being kinder to yourself. It's choosing the thing that makes you feel proud afterward instead of the thing that feels easiest in the moment. Other times, it's staying home and resting. Knowing the difference is part of the work too.

I don't know if I'm “excellent” at anything really. I'm not sure I even know exactly what that looks like for me. But I know I'm not the same woman I was ten years ago. I'm still learning. Still messing up. Still laughing at myself. Still trying. Still showing up.

Maybe that's the point. We don't have to choose between being a masterpiece and a work in progress. We can be both.

What about you?

Where could you choose a little more excellence over average this week? Maybe it's finally starting something you've been putting off. Maybe it's speaking to yourself with a little more kindness. Maybe it's listening instead of interrupting. Maybe it's simply showing up for yourself when nobody else is watching. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You just have to prove it to yourself. You are worth the effort. You deserve to become the best version of YOU. And remember. You can spill the soup. You can screw up the recipe. You can have a shitty week. You can have a moment in the aisle at No Frills.

And you can still be creating something pretty damn awesome! Keep trying!

Until next week,

TGIF!

Truth

Growth

Inspiration

Fun

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency … one breath at a time :)

💜 Yoga Debb