Debbie Does Diaries continued!!

Debrief with Debb:  Things I Learned This Week (That No One Asked For)

Quick warning. This post includes sweaty armpits, push-up honesty, a mini body-image meltdown during a photoshoot, and a facial that turned into life advice.  You’re welcome.  First things first.  Thank you!  After the Push-Up Challenge and Blog Challenge, some of you messaged (or told me in person) that you really enjoyed reading my thoughts and looked forward to more (which is super exciting and super scary). Commitment. Not so great at that. It took me 46 years to get married. But here we are. I’m committing to writing a weekly blog … for I don’t know how long. Let’s take it one week at a time.  Deal?  Cool.  Maybe one day this becomes a book you can pick up at Chapters.  Hear me universe? Just putting it out there!  With a fancy coffee from Starbucks in hand of course.  Blissful moments.  My fancy order is an Americano with oat milk and cinnamon. Grande, obviously.  Which makes no sense because grande means BIG (in Starbucks land it's a medium) and Venti means 20 (BIG size in this land).   Weird.  Not to get too “Details Deb” or anything.   

Push-Up Update (aka honesty hour)

Push-ups this week.  Honestly … I stopped counting (which felt strange).   But I did do some.  Workout tally this week: 2 workouts at F45 Training (push-ups included) + 2 hot yoga classes. Not terrible.  Not amazing.  I have no excuses … but here I am about to give you some anyway.  This week I had more administrative tasks to manage than usual.  As I mentioned before, I support a group of 30 yoga and Pilates instructors, plus lead teacher trainings and this week, there was a lot to handle.  Sometimes it’s not just logistical.  It’s emotional too.  Lots of humans.  Lots of personalities.  Lots of chefs in the kitchen.  You know how it goes. Lots of ingredients, recipes and spills to clean up.  Life.  Also, this week, I taught more than usual.  Typically I teach about 7 classes in studio plus a few privates.  This week, on top of the chef's hat stuff, I banked in 10 hot classes in 5 days with my teaching hat.  Both yoga and HIIT Pilates.  That doesn’t sound like a lot. Two classes a day, big deal.  There was a point where I was teaching 20 classes a week back in Toronto (plus another job on the side like serving in restaurants). Necessary if you want to eat and pay bills (on time).  This morning, I taught a “Debbie Double." A 45-minute HIIT Pilates class, followed by HIIT Pilates with weights.  People always ask me:  “Do you do the full workout with the class?”  Answer: definitely not.  I’m teaching.  Which means I’m focusing on students, not myself.  Which means I basically get paid to talk for a living.  Perfect for the kid who got sent to the corner in elementary school for talking too much.  Shocking, I know.  I demonstrate.  I jump in for a round sometimes to show alignment.  I correct students.  I encourage them.  But mostly my brain is on the timing, the music, the cues, the people who look confused, the people who look like they might die and want to kill me.  True story.  If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be typing right now.  Do I mess up sometimes?  Yes.  Do I mostly keep it together?  Also yes.  Do I occasionally daydream during yoga?  Guilty.  When you’ve taught the same type of hot yoga class for 17 years, (Hello Bikram) it’s possible to guide people through a posture while also thinking about groceries, lunch, dinner and life problems.  Which is why my practice as a teacher is practicing what I preach.  Staying present.  Still working on that one.

The Photoshoot (aka my body image medium meltdown)

We’re running a HIIT Pilates Teacher Training this summer, which I’m leading with two other instructors.  Yesterday we had a photoshoot for the training manual.  Very official.  Hair toss.  Check my nails.  Tell me how you feel.  At one point I was demonstrating a pose and the photographer noticed a TINY Adidas logo on my black top.  The top I spent a week thinking would be most flattering.  Jus sayin’.  Her suggestion.  “Maybe remove the shirt and just wear the sports bra and pants.”  What?!!  My brain immediately said, “NO FUCKING WAY.”  Not only am I uncomfortable showing my stomach … but on camera?  In a printed manual?  Barf.  The first few shots were exactly as expected.  Pits sweating, smelling extra intense (aunt flow arriving soon, that happens to you too right?), pulling my pants up to hide my stomach, pulling my bra down to hide my stomach.  Basically: panic posing.  At one point I looked at myself in the mirror and thought:  “Ok, exhale … if I just suck my stomach in it actually doesn’t look that bad … and they can photoshop it later anyway …”  Then while my colleague was taking her photos, I caught myself staring at my reflection and had this whole internal conversation:

“Get over it Deb.  Who the f*ck cares?  So, you don’t have a six pack. So what.  No one cares because they’re too busy worrying about their own non six pack.  ALSO, who even has a six pack these days?  Is it a goal of mine?  Not really.  Would I take one if it magically appeared?  Sure.  But do I also like chocolate and bread?  Double sure.  And next week I’m going to Mexico.  Am I planning to count calories while enjoying classic churros and maybe a little tequila?  Definitely not.

The Realization

That whole internal rant reminded me of something.  I’m a good instructor.  I’m strong.  I’m a leader.  I’m not perfect.  And that’s ok.  For a long time I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now.  That's a big deal. And even though my body has changed, some of those old thoughts still live in my head.  Thanks to childhood comments like:  “You’re cute and funny … you just have the Portuguese family legs.”  Translation:  thick legs, big butt.  True story.  Very fun thing for a kid to hear repeatedly at family events.  The thing that I realize now is that stuff sticks.  Here I am at 46 years old still unpacking the sticky stuff. So yes,  I’m still a work in progress.

What the Push-Up Challenge Taught Me

The push-up challenge wasn’t really about push-ups. It was about supporting a great cause. It was about supporting my dad's journey. Mental health.  It was about acceptance.  Acceptance of where I am, what my body can do and the reality that growth is ongoing.  We don’t all of a sudden arrive somewhere and become perfect.  We just keep learning, adjusting and evolving.

Speaking of evolving…

Today I had a facial with the lovely April from Lovely Nails.  She’s the owner also.  If you’re in the Barrie area, check her out! I also go there for my manis/pedis (because self care is important as you'll realize more below).  April is a “student” I know from the studio and recent YTT (Yoga Teacher Training) graduate.  She lives up to her business name very well.  During the appointment, we were chatting and she casually said something that made me pause.  “Self care is health care.”  I said:  “Yes!  I love that.  I’m stealing that for my classes.”  And my blog. Because it’s true.  Self-care isn’t indulgent.  It’s not selfish.  It’s maintenance.  Just like exercise.  Just like sleep.  Just like taking care of your mind.  Shout out to April for the facial wisdom. 

Next Week’s Experiment

My new mini goal is to start jogging.  Three times a week so I can run a 10k in June.  First step.  Register for the Barrie Honda Waterfront Run in June or this mini goal will never happen. I’m going to Mexico next week so in my mind this will be easy right?  Lots of time.  Beautiful scenery.  Motivation.  Or will churros, tequila and naps take over?  Stay tuned.

Your Challenge

Enough about me, let’s hear from you! What’s one thing you learned about yourself this week? No idea? I encourage you to start paying attention. No judgment, I’m raising my hand here too. Comment below. Share your story, and let’s keep each other accountable (and laughing along the way obviously). And maybe, let’s try something together.  A Walking to Jogging Challenge?  Nothing crazy.  Walk for 10 minutes.  Jog for 1 minute.  Repeat a few times.  And be honest about it.  No pretending you ran 10km when you didn’t.  We're not in grade 5 anymore. Deal? Tell me about it. I'd love to hear your story and maybe include it here if that's cool with you. Let's learn from each other!

Debrief with Debb: Final Thoughts

This week reminded me of something simple.  You don’t need a six pack.  You don’t need perfect discipline.  You don’t need perfect consistency.  You just need to keep showing up.  For your body.  For your health.  For yourself.  Progress isn’t perfection.  It’s participation.  Self-care is healthcare.

PS.  If you see me jogging slowly through Mexico next week, please know two things:

1. This blog made me do it

2. I’m probably thinking about tacos

Yoga Debb

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency; one breath at a time 💗