Debrief with Debb: Hormones Are Hormoning

Dear Diary,

The last time I wrote, I was packing up my condo life, stepping into my married Jeep Wrangler era, and emotionally trying to detach from tenants from hell.  Well …  This week, I stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office and almost spiritually left my body.  170 pounds.  One. Seven. Zero.  I literally froze. “Who’s weight is that?” Because last week I weighed 165.  The two weeks before that, 160.  And now suddenly I’m gaining weight faster than ducks are appearing on my Jeep dashboard.  Honestly … what the actual f%#k is happening? 

Before you jump in with: “Deb you look great!”  “Don’t be so hard on yourself!”   “Weight is just a number!”  Thank you. Truly. I get that (mostly).  But also … I know my body.  And something feels way off.  I’m not looking for perfection. I’m not trying to become a fitness model or shrink myself into a version that isn’t realistic. I actually like being curvy. I like being strong. I like having muscle. I like looking healthy.  What I don’t like is suddenly gaining weight really quickly, feeling inflamed, puffy, exhausted, uncomfortable in my clothes, and carrying most of it around my abdomen.  Especially when I’m actually pretty healthy.  During the week, I’m all about the protein, fibre, fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains, whole foods, water and movement 

Then yes … weekends happen.  Sushi nights (because a party maki tray for 2 people is obviously ok).  With wine of course. It's a Friday night sofa and murder show party!  And beer and wings with Rui on Sundays sometimes.  This past weekend it was Mandarin buffet for Mother’s Day (obviously stretchy pants required).  But honestly, I didn’t go crazy at Mandarin at all.  One appetizer/salad plate.  I love that crab salad, caesar salad and mango salad sh*t.  One hot food plate.  And a little bowl of ice cream.  Meanwhile my body responded like: “CONGRATULATIONS YOU NOW WEIGH 170.”  Cool cool.

Hormones Are Hormoning

The more I’ve been reading about perimenopause, the more I’m realizing …. Ohhhhh.  THIS is what’s happening.  Weight gain pretty much out of nowhere?  Check.  Night sweats?  Check.  Insomnia?  Check. Bloating?  Check.  Craving sugar and carbs? Check.  Extra emotional?  Check with Rui. As Dr. Mary Claire Haver says, perimenopause can feel like a season of "chaos."  And honestly, that’s exactly what it feels like. I’m getting blood work done tomorrow just to rule out things like thyroid issues or anything else going on, but I’m also noticing patterns of certain foods and how they affect me.

Last week I cut back on dairy and immediately felt less bloated.  Apparently wheat, sugar, dairy and inflammation all become a very different beast during this phase of life.  Awesome!  So maybe my Friday night cozy married life of sushi and wine hits differently now than it did at 35.  Rude.

The Bride Weight Situation

Last year was honestly one of the most memorable years of my life.  I got married in Portugal to the sweetest man ever, surrounded by love, family, friends, sunshine and all the magic.  And at my wedding,  I weighed 145 pounds.  When I look at those photos, I don’t think: “Wow skinny.”  I think: “Healthy, Curvy, Strong, Confident, Happy.  She looks like herself.” And that is the feeling I want back.  Not perfection.  Not punishment.   Just alignment.  Because right now, I don’t feel aligned.  Yesterday I was trying on clothes for Mother’s Day and every outfit felt tight and uncomfortable. I said:  “I feel fat.”  Rui looked at me and said:  “I wish you could see the beautiful woman that I see, my love.  Look at you!  See how gorgeous you are?!”  Sweet. Adorable. Love him.  But also when Aunt Flow is arriving (tomorrow) and hormones are "hormoning", sometimes your brain turns into an emotional monster, digging through body image issues from 1997.  Ladies ... you get it.  Why is it that we’re amazing at giving advice to everyone else while struggling to take our own?  That’s a whole other blog post for another time.  But for now … 

Enter Mel Robbins

Last week I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast about goals and something really clicked for me.  She said goals give us something to look forward to. Something to work toward. Something that creates structure and stability when life feels chaotic.  I needed that reminder.  So here we go. I’m officially sharing my goal publicly because if I have to suffer through protein tracking, at least you’re all coming with me.  And apparently private suffering wasn’t enough.

Goal: Lose 25 Pounds in 10 Weeks

Ok so 2.5 lbs a week.  Is this challenging?  Yes.  Is it impossible?  Nope.  One goal at a time.  And before anyone panics:  This is not about starving myself, obsessing, or becoming tiny.  This is about feeling healthy in my body again.  Feeling strong.  Feeling like ME.  Mel Robbins laid out 5 principles in the podcast, so here they are.  I’m using this framework to help me along the way.

1. Choose a Goal That Is Truly Yours

Mel talks about choosing goals you actually want.  Not goals society pressures you into.  My goal isn’t: “Be skinny.”  My goal is:  Feel strong.  Feel healthy.  Feel confident.  Reduce inflammation.  Take care of my hormones.  Feel proud of myself again.  That’s different.

2. Write It Down + Visualize It

Here I am, “writing it down” via my laptop.  Tonight I’m writing it down in my actual journal:  Goal: 145 pounds.  Not because that number defines my worth.  But because I remember how I felt there.  Strong.  Grounded.  Healthy.  Confident.  And every morning, I’m going to visualize that version of myself again.  Not perfectly.  Just consistently.

3. Know the “Will” and the “Way”

The WILL (my why) … I want to feel healthy in my mind and body.  I want to prove to myself that I can evolve and take care of myself during this new season of life instead of fighting against it.  I want to quiet that inner voice that sometimes says:  “You’re failing.”  Because I’m not failing.  I’m adjusting.

The WAY (the actual plan)

Here’s the plan:

• Higher protein

• Track macros

• More water

• Less alcohol

• Less dairy/wheat/sugar

• 4 walks/jogs/week

• 4 strength sessions/week

• 3 yoga classes/week

• Better sleep habits

• More consistency

• Less “fuck it, let’s order wings”

Will I still have dark chocolate and bread sometimes?  Obviously.  I’m human.

4.  Consistency Over Chaos

Mel also said:  Tiny repeated actions matter more than giant bursts of motivation.  That hit me because I don’t need perfection.  I need consistency.  A 20 minute walk counts.  More water counts.  Choosing sleep over scrolling counts.  Meditating for 10 minutes counts.  Progress counts.

5. Goals create control and stability during chaos

One meaningful personal goal can actually help people feel grounded when life feels overwhelming or uncertain. This kind of reminded me of Walking/Jogging Debb. When I look back at photos from the years I was doing half marathons and 10Ks, I looked and felt my healthiest.  Not because running made me skinny.  It was the routine.  The discipline.  The control. The stability. The alone time.  The movement.  The mental clarity.  I’ve realized I can do all the hot yoga and HIIT classes in the world, but adding walks and jogs changes something mentally for me.  No matter what was happening on the outside, I felt this sense of power on the inside. So yes.  Walking/Jogging Debb is making a comeback.  I even bought cute runners today which always helps, and kinda feels like step one.

The Jeep Era

On another note ... My Jeep Wrangler era is thriving.  And so is Betty.  I’m obsessed.  Like weirdly obsessed.  Rui laughs because I literally have a perma smile while driving it and there are no crumbs allowed inside.  No garbage, no drive thru.  If I’m desperate, get coffee, place it carefully in cupholder, drink coffee, small sips then take said coffee cup with you.  Throw in garbage.  Dream car = dream rules.  I already have 3 ducks on the dashboard and fully trust I’ll eventually get ducked by a stranger.  Life is weird and beautiful sometimes.  And honestly, buying that Jeep reminded me of something important:  Why wait for something to fall apart before allowing yourself joy?  Why wait until the Mazda “dies”?  Why wait until life is perfect?  Why wait until you lose the weight?  Why wait until you feel ready?  Dreams are meant to be lived.  Days are meant to be lived.  Even during the messy seasons.

Final Thoughts From Hormonal Debb

So here I am.  Perimenopause Debb.  Jeep Debb.  Married Debb.  Slightly bloated Debb.  Emotionally reflective Debb.  Goal-setting Debb.  A work in progress.  And maybe that’s the point.

Sometimes life gets chaotic so we can create new routines. Sometimes stress forces us to slow down. Sometimes our bodies whisper before they scream. And sometimes we need a goal not to punish ourselves.  But to reconnect with ourselves.  So if you’re also feeling off lately …  Tired.  Inflamed.  Emotional.  Lost in your body a little.  I see you!  

And if you need me, I’ll be: walking, drinking water, tracking protein, trying not to emotionally eat ice cream, and driving around town in Betty with a perma smile on my face.

Wish me luck!

-Yogadebb

Building strength, mindset, and real-life consistency… one breath at a time :)